


Headcanons for Beetlebabes Week

by BlueClue182



Series: BeetleBabes Headcanons [1]
Category: Beetlejuice (Cartoon 1989), Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Chapter Three is definitely musical but guess who's aged up?, F/M, Fall Vibes, Headcanon, I knew it would show up eventually., It's ms. Lydia Deetz the of-age wonder!, Oops, Should have posted these under one collection and as separate stories., and sex, apparently I'm horrible with Ao3 formatting., babesweek, beetlebabes, chapter one is Toon 'verse, chapter two is movie 'verse--they're clearly a couple, moodboard, pumpkin patch, seance, there's graphic sex in chapter three
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueClue182/pseuds/BlueClue182
Summary: Lydia brings home an antique Ouija board and Beetlejuice starts acting really weird about it.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice/Lydia Deetz
Series: BeetleBabes Headcanons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985254
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30
Collections: Beetlebabes Week





	1. Séance

  * Lydia finds this antique Ouija board at a thrift shop and brings it home.
  * Beetlejuice is, like, weirdly cagey about it when Lydia suggests they have a séance with it.
  * He SAYS that those boards never work and they’re all fake just like the moon landing.
  * Lydia points out the moon landing is definitely real and if that’s his basis, then Ouija boards are real too and he’s just cranky because no one has ever used it to call him.
  * BJ doesn’t believe in the moon landing and steals Lydia’s phone to google about it and disappears down a conspiracy theory hole
  * Lydia’s séance doesn’t work and she also goes down a hole researching how to increase the potency of the board? Or something?
  * Beetlejuice takes her phone and throws it against the wall, in some weird fit of believing that if she doesn’t have it, she can’t keep researching? Which definitely is NOT suspicious at all.
  * Obviously she just gets a new phone and Beetlejuice is very nervous because you know who comes through Ouija boards sometimes?
  * Other demons. Other demons can come through those things.
  * And Beetlejuice had a bet with this other demon, years ago, and he cheated (obviously) and locked this dude in a Ouija board. And he’s pretty convinced that if they try to talk to anyone through one of these freakin’ boards, his enemy is what’s gonna come out of it.
  * Lydia has figured out that something is wrong and makes BJ tell her what it is.
  * He’s all whiny about it and tries to lie, but it doesn’t work and eventually he tells her the truth.
  * And she’s like BEETLEJUICE!! You gotta let that guy out! So now she’s super determined to use the board and has decided they’re going to have a séance outside, in a graveyard, under a full moon. Just to use all the tricks she’s looked up in one go.
  * And anyhow if there’s an angry spirit on the way, she doesn’t want to release it into the house.
  * So they go out to the graveyard with the board and they release the angry guy and he chases after Beetlejuice.
  * Lydia saves him by calling him three times and he disappears, but the angry guy still remains and wants to know where Beetlejuice went.
  * She explains that she has control over him because of the name thing, and the guy is like okay at least now he’s semi-trapped like I was, but I still want revenge.
  * And Lydia asks him what he wants and he’s like ‘I always wanted to go to the moon’ and Lydia is laughing because she knows Beetlejuice can take this guy there, and she wants him to see the American flag while he’s up there.
  * She explains the situation to Beetlejuice, back at the house, through the mirror and he’s like if that gets me off the hook then fine.
  * And then he takes Lydia’s phone up to the moon along with this spirit guy, who can then “cross over”
  * And when Lydia gets her phone back she sees pictures of BJ and the ghost up on the moon and they’re posing with the flag.
  * And of course Beetlejuice spray painted his name over the flag.
  * Lydia agrees that the Ouija board is really...just decoration from now on. But at least Beetlejuice knows the moon landing wasn't a conspiracy!




	2. Pumpkin Patch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's a misunderstanding, maybe it's Maybelline.  
> A weird day out turns into one of the best nights ever. Regardless of how that sounds, this one's squeaky clean.
> 
> Not a beta in sight.

  * So obviously a pumpkin patch is not BJ’s scene. He’s cranky and wearing Lydia’s biggest sunhat and oversized glasses.
  * She starts the day making fun of him, but he’s not going to dampen her spirit because she’s always been a huge fan of little farms like this.
  * She’s taking all these photos of families, and Beetlejuice notices, and he starts to tease her.
  * “I thought I was the one with a thing for underage girls, Babes.”
  * “Great except I’m inching towards twenty now, so that joke doesn’t really apply anymore.”
  * She gets quiet and puts her camera back in its bag and leads him over to the donut stand.
  * When she does take her camera back out, she’s taking photos of dogs in bandanas and things like that.
  * On the drive back they eat a whole dozen of the apple cider donuts. Lydia reveals that she burrowed away an extra dozen in her bag and she puts them on the counter when they get home.
  * She tells Beetlejuice if he eats even one of them without asking she’ll make sure his first death looked like the best day of his life.
  * She holes up in her room and ignores him for the whole afternoon until he gets so frustrated he confronts her for getting mad at him for no reason. She doesn’t want to talk about it.
  * So he goes into her dreams at night and sees her dreaming about a family, a little kid, etc etc.
  * He feels like a shit heel for making fun of her and decides to go chat with Adam and Barbara about this situation.
  * “Lydia wants kids and obviously I can’t have ‘em, what am I supposed to do?”
  * They don’t have a good answer for him, because what the hell would a good answer even sound like?
  * So he suggests he just go steal a baby from some undeserving breather (literally no one in the world deserves one more than Lydia. Lydia deserves everything the most always)
  * Barbara reminds Beetlejuice that Lydia would probably not be thrilled with this solution. He’s just going to have to talk to her about it.
  * Beetlejuice vomits.
  * He goes back to Lydia and talks to her about this and how they could like maybe adopt? Even the Neitherworld has adoptions for little ghosty kids probably? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
  * Lydia is like oh my god you’re so stupid I’m sad because I miss being a kid and having a mom that takes care of me and stuff. I have absolutely no confidence in my skills as a parent and DEFINITELY don’t have confidence in YOUR skills as a parent.
  * But also, okay weirdo, we could adopt a ghost baby one day probably.
  * BJ is immensely relieved and offers to go back to the pumpkin patch, steal all the donuts, and possess the scarecrow in the corn maze with her
  * They can freak out all the asshole breathers and get day drunk and then fall asleep in the maze in a donut and whisky induced sleep.
  * It’s one of the best nights of their (after)lives.




	3. Ghost Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia is reading some ghost stories, then Beej offers to tell her some of his own. But only as a part of a game. With Alcohol and Stripping.
> 
> Follows the rules/lore of the musical, but Lydia is aged up.

  * There is a lovely storm in the middle of October, and the house on the hill loses power.
  * Lydia has plenty of candles, and she lights a bunch around the room.
  * She settles into bed with a book of Victorian ghost stories and a hot toddy in her favorite coffee mug.
  * BJ juices into the room and wants to know what she’s up to. She explains, and he claims the stories in her book are child’s play compared to his experiences.
  * She tries to ignore him but he’s “reading” over her shoulder and scoffing and going “HA!” every now and again.
  * She slams the book shut and tells him he’s very annoying (he knows). What does he want from her?
  * He’s so bored and can’t they hang out and maybe get down and dirty?
  * She says no, she’s in the mood for ghost stories, and if he’s got such good ones why doesn’t he tell her one?
  * He insists on making it a game instead, and she offers up Never Have I Ever. He insists the first person with a whole hand down has to strip. Obviously.
  * They’ve played with these rules before, and BJ always tries to cheat and Lydia always wins—regardless of who winds up naked first.
  * Lydia manages to get so many stories out of him. He talks about famous ghosts, and ghosts of famous Breathers (it’s different!), the time he lived in a lighthouse before tricking the ghost into handing over the deed…he talks about different creatures he’s shape shifted into, and the weirdest places he’s had to hide for a bioexorcism before…the longest time he’s spent with any one ghost on an exorcism and the weirdest ways people have wound up in the waiting room.
  * Lydia could listen to him talk for ages, but she’s also starting to get antsy.
  * She may or may not let her sleep shirt slide off her shoulder. She may or may not pull the elastic out of her hair and let it fall down around her face.
  * The room fills with light as a bolt of lightning cracks through the sky, followed by a crash of thunder.
  * Lydia’s face in that moment looks positively sinful—as though she’ll eat him up if he doesn’t get the picture soon.
  * He gets it.
  * She leans forward and whispers in his ear. “Put a finger down if you’re about to get absolutely wrecked.”
  * He snaps his fingers and he’s immediately undressed, stretched out on the bed waiting for her to pounce.
  * She doesn’t make him wait long. She swings one leg over his lap and throws her shirt to the side. Only her lacy black panties separate them.
  * The storm, the candles, the stories of the havoc he’s wreaked throughout his existence—they combine to make her insatiable.
  * Her mouth is all over his body, her tongue caresses the curves of his stomach and chest, glides over his dusting of hair.
  * She bites his shoulder. He growls in response and tears off her panties with one hand. She protests and he captures her mouth with his, biting her lower lip.
  * She moans and he can feel how wet she is, sliding against his shaft and inviting him inside her.
  * He lifts her hips just enough, then slams her down on his dick, throwing his head back at the sensation of being inside her all at once.
  * She runs her hands up her own torso, reaching for her breasts and twisting her nipples. She calls out his name and he slaps a hand over her mouth. (she notices there are still two hands on her hips…)
  * “Ah ah ah. I ain’t goin’ nowhere tonight. In fact.” He snaps his fingers again and she has a strip of lace tied around her mouth. The remains of her panties? Probably, knowing his flare for the dramatic.
  * She can’t call out his name anymore—even by accident. “Not takin’ any chances.” His hair and his eyes are a crimson red. She can feel that same heat deep in her chest.
  * He can feel her get wetter around him, he sees the satisfaction in her eyes before she closes them and sighs, grinding against his hips.
  * “Oh, yeah, babes. Just like that.” He uses the third hand to reach for her clit and assist her in a climax. She comes quickly, and he snaps so that she is suddenly on all fours. He enters her from behind and she spasms against him, coming over and over as he fucks her senseless.
  * When he approaches his own peak, he drags his nails along her back, leaving shallow red marks as he goes.
  * He ruts against her. She loves the way his balls swing hard against her clit, and she reaches down in her post-climax haze to lazily play with them while he has his way.
  * He grunts in response. “Tug harder, babes. They ain’t gonna break off.” She does as she is told and he speeds up. “Fuuuuuuck yeaaaaaahhh.” He sputters against her hips and she feels him, deep inside her, spasming against her inner walls.



  * Later, they are curled against one another in her bed. The lace of the panties (that’s absolutely what he used to silence her) is long gone, and she is drawing nonsense shapes on his shoulder with her finger.
  * “Were all those stories true?” She asks him.
  * “Isn’t every ghost story true as soon as someone believes it?” He inhales deeply from a cigarette.
  * “That’s surprisingly deep from you, Beetlejuice.”
  * “I’ll show you surprisingly deep.”
  * Lydia yawns. “Maybe in the morning. I’ve had enough ghost stories for now.”
  * He kisses her on the forehead and, eventually, they fall asleep side by side.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this one like full-on with dialogue and everything and it got angsty (as always). I really liked it but ya girl is tired and I'm already a few days behind on Babes Week...  
> So if you want a different version of this, or a more "Fleshed-out" version (sorry not sorry) please let me know in the comments.
> 
> Also fun reminder at the end here--Lydia is aged up. She's allowed to be drinking and engaging in demonic sex. Use a condom in real life, when engaging in penetrative sex--demonic or otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> Trying out the "headcanon post" format because NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. I'm lazy and this seems fun. Including moodboards for each entry into the collection.


End file.
